


Lacking in Creativity

by IvyCpher



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Angst, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders Needs a Hug, Crying, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:14:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24741391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvyCpher/pseuds/IvyCpher
Summary: Thomas gets on anxiety medication and instead of it drastically affecting Virgil, it affects Roman.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders
Comments: 11
Kudos: 215





	Lacking in Creativity

Thomas had been prescribed anxiety medication and for the longest time he did not pick up his prescription. But one day he finally did.

It wasn't a surprise to any of the sides when Thomas started his medication, least of all Virgil. They had a big talk about it and all ruled that it would be in Thomas' best interest to try the medication, and if it didn't work out for him he could always seek a different prescription or give it up entirely.

Though the thought of Thomas taking such a medication originally scared Virgil, it soon just made him feel bad. He didn't want to give Thomas so much anxiety that he was forced to take medication, but sometimes he couldn't help how severely he reacted to things. Ultimately taking care of Thomas was more important than how Virgil felt.

For the first few days of Thomas taking the medication, Virgil didn't do much but stay in his room and worry about how it was going to affect him. Even though he had been reassured by Logan multiple times that such a medication never made anxiety go away  _ entirely,  _ Virgil couldn't help but fear that he might disappear. Though Virgil still had that small fear in the back of mind, even after agreeing for Thomas to get on the medication, there was one thing that made him feel better. And that thing was Roman.

Virgil had tried to keep the others away from him during the first few days that Thomas was taking the medication (even though Logan told him that it would take much longer than that for Thomas to see any progress with it), but Roman, being his boyfriend, did not like that plan at all. The first day Virgil tried to stay by himself, Roman burst into his room with a stack of Disney movies and a family sized bag of peanut M&Ms. Though he was a bit apprehensive about it first, Virgil soon gave in and spent the rest of the day cuddled up with Roman and watching movies.

But even as the days passed and turned into weeks, Virgil couldn't feel himself being negatively affected by the medication. What he didn't expect however, was for the medication to actually make him feel better than he had ever felt in his existence. He could never remember feeling so  _ calm.  _ Usually, being so calm would've made him anxious for something bad to happen but- not then.

Someone, however, Virgil noticed who began to change as the medication took effect was Roman. Roman who came to his room everyday chipper and playful, ready to watch some bootleg copy of Mean Girls or just lay around the mind palace, had begun to act differently. No more was Roman coming up with fun ideas for dates in the Imagination, he wasn't even going to the Imagination at all. No more was he contributing to the little meetings about what types of videos Thomas should make. No more was he… Roman.

Though Virgil was having a hard time feeling anxious over all the things that normally stressed him out, Roman being off his game was starting to make him worry.

Two months after Thomas had been on the medication and Virgil had figured out that without a doubt that it was the thing to have made Roman lose touch with his creative attributes, Virgil brought up the issue.

They were in Roman's room, watching whatever show was on TV with Roman cuddled close with his head on Virgil's chest. Virgil had his arm around Roman's waist, he had long since tuned out the show in favour of thinking of how he was going to address the topic to Roman.

"Hey, Princey?" Asked Virgil quietly at the start of the next commercial break.

"Hmm?" Hummed Roman in reply, not taking his eyes off the TV.

Virgil hesitated, "You've been off." He said finally, the prepared words in his head going to shit. He could feel how Roman stiffened against him in surprise.

Slowly sitting up, but keeping a hand on Virgil's chest, Roman smiled nervously. "Now I don't have a clue what you're talking about, Virge."

Virgil bit his lip and sat up straighter against the too many pillows in Roman's bed. "Just because the others don't see it doesn't mean I don't. You've been… Not you." He said finally, reaching out to cup Roman's cheek. "When was the last time you had a creative idea?"

Looking away, Roman mumbled something that Virgil couldn't hear. He took his hand off Virgil's chest and moved further down the bed out of his grasp. "Now, Virgil, I don't know what you're talking about. I'm  _ fine. _ " He put his hand over his heart and smiled. "You've been in such a good mood since Thomas ever started those meds I don't know why you're getting huffy now."

Deadpanning, Virgil crossed his arms over his chest. "You didn't answer my question."

"I'm just going through a little funk, okay? Every artists' creative fountain goes through a dry spell now and then, it's  _ normal!"  _ Roman threw his hands in the air and waved them around. "I know you think highly of my ideas but I can't just constantly pump out new ones all the time! Now I'm not that snake Janus, so why would I lie?" He insisted. "Princes don't lie! Name one prince who lied!"

"Aladdin."

"... He doesn't count! He only  _ wished  _ to be a prince!"

With a roll of his eyes, Virgil moved closer to Roman. "Okay, then Prince Humperdinck in the literal entirety of the Princess Bride."

Roman looked affronted, "How  _ dare  _ you use the Princess Bride against me!"

And then while Roman blabbed on, trying to change the subject to how Humperdinck was the absolute worst prince, Virgil did the only thing he knew would shut him up. He kissed him.

As soon as Virgil kissed him, Roman silenced and didn't even try to fight back. Virgil kissed him just long enough that Roman would forget what he was talking about, and then he pulled away.

"Roman," Started Virgil quietly. "I know that it's Thomas' anxiety medication that's doing this to you."

For a moment, Roman was quiet in shock and then sadness overcame his features. He reached out and grabbed one of Virgil's hands and held it with both of his own. "It is." He nodded softly, not meeting Virgil's eyes but staring at his hand. "It's the thing that's doing this to me."

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" Asked Virgil. He was starting to get angry. It would've been one thing if Roman was unaware of what was happening to him, but the fact that he  _ knew  _ and was just letting it happen to him made him want to scream. "You  _ knew  _ what it was doing to you. You're too important to Thomas to be doing this. Without creativity, who even  _ is  _ he?" He took a deep breath to steady himself before he became really mad, "What you're doing is just ducking out… Even though you're still here, you're not doing your job. Why?"

Slowly, Roman met Virgil's eyes. His breath was taken away at the sight of tears in his boyfriend's dark eyes. Roman blinked and a tear fell down each cheek, "I did it for you." He said softly, squeezing Virgil's hand. "Virgil, I had never seen you so calm- so  _ happy  _ than now while Thomas is taking this medication _."  _ He quickly moved to wipe his eyes on his wrist but the tears just kept coming. "And I wanted to keep you that way-" He choked out, unable to stop his tears. "B-Because you deserve so much to be happy!"

Before he knew what he was doing, Virgil swept Roman into a hug. He held him close against his chest and was able to feel every sob that shook Roman's body and every labored breath. He felt horrible and guilty for ever being mad at Roman but also unbelievably embarrassed that Roman would ever do such a thing for him. It took Virgil a moment to think of how to properly respond to Roman, "Ro'-" He finally began. "You don't have to do that for me." He said, gently removing Roman's face from his chest to look at him. Roman's face was blotchy and his eyes were pink and his pupils were dark and glossy. 

As he tried to regain control over his breathing, Roman shook his head. "Seeing you happy is better than the sight of anything I've ever created." He gasped, his arms still wrapped around Virgil.

"But you're  _ hurting yourself,"  _ Frowned Virgil. He cupped Roman's face with his hands and felt sick at how hot his face was. "Roman, I can't stand seeing you like this." He shook his head, feeling responsible for what Roman was doing to himself. If only he had confronted him sooner. "Did you honestly think I wasn't happy before this? That  _ you  _ didn't make me happy? I don't need some meds to make me happy, Roman, I just need  _ you.  _ And seeing you like this makes me feel like shit."

It was at that that Roman started crying again. "Just say it," He said in between sobs. "I fucked up. I fucked up good and just made a mess of things."

Hearing that caught Virgil off guard, "No," He said firmly. He summoned a cool, damp washcloth and began using it to dab at Roman's face. "You tried to do something good, there's nothing wrong with that." He sighed and then pressed a gentle kiss to Roman's forehead. "Roman, look, yeah, I really appreciate what you did. It started off good, but it didn't  _ end up  _ good. And when that happens you have to  _ stop." _

"But I've denied Thomas his creativity," Roman managed after he stopped crying. "When he and the others find out they'll-"

Willing the washcloth away, Virgil hugged Roman tightly again. "They'll understand." He said quietly. "Look, when I ducked out, you guys took me back, right? And actually accepted me. Roman, you didn't do this to be malicious, right?" He asked with Roman's cheek pressed against his and their arms woven around each other, holding one another like they'd never see each other again.

"N-No, but-"

"You did this because you wanted to see me happy?"

"Yes, but-"

And Virgil did his special trick that always worked in making Roman shut up, he kissed him.

Roman's face was hot and damp and his lips tasted like tears. Again, Roman didn't struggle against the kiss. Instead he melted against Virgil, his grip around him loosening and his hands dragging down his back. Virgil loved kissing Roman, but that time it hurt. It hurt because he could feel every ounce of pain Roman went through for him. Because if you were unable to fulfill your only purpose, to create, then what were you but a waste of space?

When Virgil broke away from the kiss, Roman's eyes were closed but he looked infinitely better. Though his face was still red, his breathing had returned more or less to normal and his eyes were completely dry. "I love you, Roman." Said Virgil quietly.

Roman's eyes fluttered open and he sighed, "I love you too…. I feel like shit."

Pursing his lips, Virgil moved to rub small circles on Roman's back with his hands. "I can talk to Thomas for you. Tell him he needs to get off the meds."

With a shake of his head, Roman sighed. "No, I should do it. It's my problem… But, would you come with me?"

Virgil nodded, "'Course. Do… Do you want to do it now?"

Roman bit his lip and moved to press his forehead against Virgil's. "Not yet… I just- I'm still a mess right now." He took in a slow breath. "Could we just stay here for a while? I'm bubbling like a witch's cauldron and really need to cool off."

Though Virgil wanted nothing more than to get up right then and tell Thomas to flush the rest of prescription, he knew he had to make sure that Roman was okay first. "Do you want to stay here and cuddle, baby?"

Roman nodded softly, "Could we?"

"Of course," And then Virgil pressed a gentle kiss to Roman's lips. He was soon to pull away, however, so he could kiss his forehead as well. "We can stay here as long as you need." He gently scooped up and turned him around so he could lay with the pillows at the head of the bed. Then he moved behind him to spoon him.

"Thank you…" Sighed Roman. He grabbed Virgil's hand that was wrapped around his waist and held it. Then he turned over a little too look at Virgil over his shoulder. "I'm sorry, Virgil."

Virgil leaned foreward and kissed Roman's cheek, "You're okay, Ro'... Okay?"

"Okay…" Roman said quietly before turning back over and closing his eyes.

Virgil sighed and moved so that the top of Roman's head was under his chin and held him. Though he wanted Thomas off his anxiety medication more than anything, what he really wanted was just for Roman to return to normal. "I love you." He whispered as quietly as he could.

"I love you too," Replied Roman sleepily.

**Author's Note:**

> Based on my own experiences with daily anxiety meds. I had this idea forever ago and thought I ought to write it before anyone else jumped on it since the idea of Thomas getting on anxiety meds is becoming popular.
> 
> Comments are very much appreciated!!!


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